The Stress of Modern Life

I didn't always have that much stress. As I daydreamed out the window of a bus headed to Mendoza Argentina some 20 something years ago, my stress levels were pretty low. Life was good. I was travelling the world, learning new cultures, meeting amazing people, and having a lot of fun.

Stress did come up. But it was stress of a different kind. Like accidentally walking into the wrong neighbourhood. Running out of the local currency with no ATMs in sight. Or misplacing my passport. Sitting in a bus climbing down the precarious hairpin turns of the Andes mountains...Was I stressed? Yes my cortisol was high. But it only lasted until we got safely to the bottom of the mountain ranges. That stress was short term and appropriate to the situation.

Fast forward 20 years and I'm waist high in a mortgage, navigating school messaging apps, running a business solo, and managing social media not only for myself, but also for my children. It's a lot. Modern life is a lot for many of us. And it's especially a lot for mid-life working parents in 2025.


Modern Life Is Making Us Stressed - And It's Not Just Work

Stress isn’t just a personal problem anymore - it’s a structural one. Many of us feel like we’re one task, one email, or one calendar notification away from snapping. The tension is always running high. The causes are multi-faceted, and they reach into every corner of our lives: work, home, health.

It’s not that we’re weak or slack. It’s that the systems we operate in are no longer designed for human pace or capacity.

We keep telling ourselves, “I just need to get through this patch.” But what if the “patch” is permanent? In that case, chronic stress can build, with no outlet to manage it.

Work: A Thousand Invisible Threads

Many managers and professionals are being pulled in so many directions that it feels impossible to focus, let alone recover. Tasks bleed into each other. Boundaries blur. Just when you finish one major project, the next one has already started. There’s no time to pause, no moment to catch your breath.

Here’s an example of a particularly modern problem. In many organisations, everyone can see your calendar. It’s meant to make things ‘easier’, for coordination and planning. Anyone can book a meeting — often without context or checking in with you. Back-to-backs have become standard, and in some workplaces, having no breaks in your day is almost worn like a badge of honour.

It’s not sustainable.

There’s also a hidden cost to being accessible all the time. Being accessible demands a constant low-level vigilance.

You’re rarely fully “off,” even when you’re technically done for the day. Whether you’re working from home or the office, if your phone or email are set up for work notifications, you’ll keep getting the pings that move you into a state of alert.

For leaders and people-managers, the emotional weight of holding space for others while struggling to hold it for yourself only adds to the load. These days, many managers shoulder the extra weight of checking in and managing the wellbeing of their teams. Despite being poorly equipped, lacking practical skills, and incredibly time poor, they’re often on the front line when it comes to keeping an eye on team wellbeing.

 

Recent data underscores this reality. Up to 80% of full-time Australian office workers reported experiencing some level of burnout, defined as emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion from prolonged or excessive workplace stress (Robert Half, 2024) .

Personal Life: Systems That Don’t Support Us

Outside of work, things continue to be a challenge. Many people find themselves stuck between high expectations and low support. You want to be available, helpful, involved. You want to say yes — to the school event, the community event, the catch-up with a friend — but it often comes at a cost.

It’s not just about saying yes. It’s that the scaffolding that used to support daily life in the past — extended family, community, shared caregiving — has eroded. Many families are raising children without nearby grandparents. School schedules are wildly misaligned with full-time work hours. Our modern public systems are built with the assumption that someone will be available to handle “life admin” during the day. But for many, this support is lacking.

So we squeeze it all in: the bills, the forms, the appointments, the after school sports, the birthday parties, the medical appointments, the inboxes, the social events. We joke about it, but it’s not funny. It’s a slow drift into unsustainable living.

Financial stress compounds these challenges. Money concerns provide daily stress for one in five Australians, while 46% experiencing financial concerns at least once a week (Orr, S., 2024). These are the kinds of things that keep people awake at night when they should be getting quality sleep to be as productive and energised as possible the next day.

Health: The Body Keeps the Score

Stress doesn’t just live in your calendar — it lives in your body. You feel it in the tightness of your shoulders, the racing mind at midnight, the short fuse with your kids, the sheer exhaustion when you wake up each day.

Frequent headaches, gut issues, and unexplainable rashes can all be signs of high stress. For some, immunity drops so you get sick more often. Some people feel a numbness that can be headed towards depression. While it’s always important to investigate concerns with your doctor, it’s important to remember that they may be the physical toll of ongoing pressure without enough recovery.

Over time, chronic stress can lead to burnout, anxiety, sleep disorders, chronic inflammation, and more. But often, people only seek help when something breaks — not when the softer signs start showing up.

It’s All Connected

We often talk about work-life balance like they’re separate levers we can tweak. But the truth is, they’re deeply entangled and n our modern life, they’re difficult to separate. You can’t fix workplace stress without also acknowledging the personal systems that are failing us. You can’t improve personal wellbeing without addressing the structural realities of work.

That’s why it’s not enough to hand someone a mindfulness app and hope for the best. The roots of stress in modern life run deeper than that.

So What Now?

This isn’t a “10 tips to beat stress” article — because honestly, you probably already know the tips. What’s needed is something bigger: a shift in how we talk about stress, responsibility, and support — not just on an individual level, but systemically.

We need more humane systems — at work and at home. Systems that allow for rest, realignment, and a rethinking of what it means to be “productive.”
We need leaders who protect their own boundaries and advocate for others to do the same.
We need organisations to stop treating chronic overload as business as usual.

Stress isn’t a flaw in your coping skills — it’s often a sign that the load you’re carrying is too heavy for one person to hold.

This is where I come in. Through coaching, consulting, and facilitation, I work with leaders, teams, and organisations to unpack these pressures, build awareness and education, and create practical, sustainable strategies for wellbeing and supportive leadership. Whether it’s helping managers set clearer boundaries, guiding teams through burnout prevention strategies, or facilitating more meaningful conversations about capacity and culture — this work is about more than resilience. It’s about redesigning the way we work and lead.

The world isn’t going to slow down on its own. But we can learn to lead differently within it.

Join the Conversation: Balance Before Burnout Workshop

If this resonates with you, I invite you to join my upcoming workshop, Balance Before Burnout, on 29th May at 11am. We’ll explore practical strategies to manage stress, set boundaries, and create a more sustainable approach to work and life.

Register here to secure your spot.

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